Center faculty academics share the craziest issues they’ve mentioned

Middle school teachers are a thing of wonder. They love an age group that most people scream at. You can resist the smell of teenage funk and leftover elementary school immaturity. For so many students, their middle school teachers are a rock during a tumultuous, hormone-charged time in their lives.

Most impressively, they can accidentally say things like, “What made the erection of 1800 so remarkable?” and keep teaching.

We love you middle school teachers. Check out the pathetic comments they shared with us (names have been changed to initials to protect the guilty).

“I told a seventh grade boy to sit down and take the squirrel out of his pants.”

“There was an awkward silence in the class and then everyone burst out laughing. Needless to say, getting this class back on track has been difficult.”

—JR

“I asked one of my seventh graders if they ‘finally found the perfect ‘D.'”

“We were doing an art project and he had a hard time finding a font for the letter D that he liked.”

—EF

“I taught a student named Jack. During the feeding break, I saw him climb onto the desks and yell, “Jack, go! Now!'”

– DJ

“During a class on punctuation in narrative writing, I spontaneously wrote ‘I’m coming’ to show how different tones change the meaning of conversations.”

“As I turned away from the board, I was met with a lot of big pairs of eyes and a few giggles. Yes, the example has been changed.”

—JB

“While trying to say ‘organism’ in science class, I said ‘orgasm’ to a class of seventh graders instead.”

—CB

“Once the day before a unit test, I went through sample test questions.”

“Before I sent the eighth graders to work, I said, ‘You can just study, or you can pair up and use the questions to practice each other.’ yeah no.”

—MA

“My partner teacher said to a sixth grade class, ‘I see a bunch of little woodpeckers in here.'”

“She wanted to stop them from tapping their Chromebooks with one finger.”

—TM

“I worked in an after-school care center for a couple of years and then started as a substitute teacher in the same district.”

“One of the 5th grade girls in my summer group (who’s used to seeing me in shorts and t-shirts) sees me in pants, a shirt and a tie and yells at the top of his lungs, ‘Oh my God, George, that I’ve never seen you with clothes on!’”

— GP

“On Tuesday I told a regular math student that I was doing an algebra student that afternoon.”

“I meant I’m doing algebra tutorials with a student. The listening ELA teacher corrected me. 8th grade. OMG.”

— VI

“During recess, I had blown the whistle for the kids to pause and be silent, and a few kids were still dribbling basketballs.”

“Without thinking, I screamed, ‘Everybody hold their balls!’ I teach eighth grade.”

—KB

“I did a bone health class with 7th graders and tried to do it in Spanish.”

“Instead of saying, ‘Donde esta su huesos?’ I said ‘huevos’…they were literally lying on the floor laughing.”

—EK

“One of my friends used Kahoot while reporting on another’s classes, and everyone decided to change their names.”

“She almost cried after screaming, ‘Mike Hunt wins!'”

—RW

“Wrote an announcement that went over the high school PA in the morning: ‘Ask anyone with a heart to say something romantic for Valentine’s Day.'”

“A WHAT?! Heart. To. Pronunciation is so damn important.”

—JT

“I was out in the parking lot helping get middle schoolers to their buses.”

“A couple of them started climbing a lamppost, so I was like, ‘Hey, get off the pole! Make better decisions!’”

—SF

“Once upon a time there was a submarine driver and the students hadn’t found her yet.”

“She told me she was the sub for the 69 bus, so I yelled across the parking lot, ‘Anyone looking for 69?!’ Both times I didn’t realize what I was saying until I looked over and saw a group of Headmasters, teachers and students laughing hysterically!”

—SF

“I teach geometry. More than once I’ve said ‘clipped’ rather than ‘circumscribed’ shapes.”

—PF

“I taught the seventh graders how to use a brad by saying, ‘Put it in the hole and spread your legs.'”

—TM

“A lot of my students like to drum on things – desks, doors, lockers, you name it.”

“The kids call it hitting. So one day I’m standing in front of the 8th grade boys’ restroom and they’re banging on the doors. So of course I say very loudly, ‘You have one thing to do in there and it’s not about hitting anything.’”

—BG

“I made a slide to be projected during a whole school assembly, only to see it said ‘shit size’ instead of ‘shirt size.'”

-JL

“When I talked about light and color, I meant to say, ‘Like if you painted your walls brown.'”

“What I actually said was, ‘Like you’re going to paint your balls brown.'”

—HL

“The other day (while being watched, btw) I said ‘coochie catcher’ instead of cootie catcher.”

—MM

“Wanted to write ‘quite or’ but wrote ‘whore’ instead. Seventh grade math.”

—MC

Honorable Mention (not middle school, but still amazing):

“I told a second grader, ‘Put your meat sword away,’ because I wanted him to stop hitting his friend with that giant Slim Jim he ate for breakfast.”

—LS

Another thing we love about middle school teachers: they can laugh at themselves. Clearly.

Teacher, did you accidentally say something that still makes you cringe? Let us know in the comments!

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