Arguing over money can ruin relationships.
Of course, families will not always agree on all financial matters. How you deal with the situation matters.
“Money is emotional,” said licensed marriage and family therapist Dr. George James, chief innovation officer and senior personal therapist for the nonprofit Council for Relationships.
“Try to communicate through money,” he added. “Don’t make it something nobody talks about.”
For Derek and Jocelyn Porter, who own a Philadelphia-based children’s entertainment company called D&J Costumes, it was a disagreement over whether to buy a new $ 60,000 car that left them in a stalemate.
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Jocelyn Porter, who appeared in CNBC’s Money Court with her husband, wants a new Mercedes to replace her old car that has gearbox problems.
“I’ve had my E350 Mercedes for five years,” said Jocelyn Porter. “It adds a touch of class and quality to my business.”
Derek thinks a cheaper car is the answer as their company took a hit during the Covid-19 pandemic.
“I come from a humble background,” said Derek Porter. “I was in a homeless shelter.
“We fought, we didn’t have much,” he added. “I take care of every penny.”
Tijana Simic | iStock | Getty Images
Given this story, it makes sense that Derek would be reluctant to spend a lot of money, James said. He also understands why someone who works hard would want to treat themselves to something good.
“This couple really needs to speak through the ‘why’. Why do I want to do it and why not? “He said.” If you can hear each other, you can make a decision. “
Ultimately, O’Shares ETF chairman Kevin O’Leary, who heads the Money Court, decided the couple should lease a new Mercedes with the same monthly payments they currently pay for the old car. In this way, any repair costs would be covered by the dealer.
“So if the engine light comes on again, you don’t care,” said O’Leary. “That is her problem.”
Got an agreement
Whenever someone is in business with a partner, it’s important to have some sort of arrangement about how to handle money matters, said litigation attorney Katie Phang, who along with former judge Ada. Pozo is investigating the cases with O’Leary at the Money Court.
“In a partnership agreement, you usually include a provision that gives you guidance on how to actually deal with such arguments,” said Phang.
“In a 50/50 [partnership]”By definition, someone has to be the tiebreaker.”
That applies even to family members who do business together, added James.
“A lot of couples want to say that nothing will go wrong or that we can always work together, but it really helps to have something to come back to,” he said.
Get personal
Whether for business or pleasure, it is good for couples to seek outside advice, such as an accountant, business coach, or attorney, James said.
Couples should also talk about what they learned about money today and what they think about it today, he added.
“If we don’t talk about how we think about money, at some point it will come up as a topic and it could be a pretty big topic.”
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of money either.
“I’ve seen couples who are wealthy and couples who have financial problems and both of them can have arguments over money,” said James.
“Your ability to hear, support and listen to one another really makes all the difference.”
TURN ON: CNBC’s “Money Court,” starring Kevin O’Leary, will air Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.
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Disclosure: NBCUniversal and Comcast Ventures are investors in Acorns.
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